Do you derive your inner strength and
energy from solitude or being with people? I have been giving much thought to this
recently after a conversation with friends. One friend in particular is of the
opinion that we need people - that we are social creatures and built to be in
relationship.
While I agree with this statement at face
value, my friend seems to also strongly believe that it’s not right to have
extended periods alone. He thinks it necessary to virtually always be in the
company of others, and that there is something wrong when people want to have
an extended period of solitude. It is this part of his thinking that I disagree
with.
I believe most people fall into one
category or the other in terms of what they prefer. I manage very well without
people for days, and I think most creative people fall into this category. My
creativity is stifled and suffers when I am with lots of people for an extended
time. I need long periods of peace and quiet to produce my best work whether it
is writing or calligraphy or art - no radio, no television and no people.
But I know I still need people sometimes. I need to
live a life among people if I hope to find sources of material to use in my
creativity. To write realistically about people and life, I need to live a life
amongst people - to experience character against character, to understand
relationships and human nature. To paint or draw the world, I need to be out in
it sometimes, living in it and experiencing it, and observing what it looks
like and how it works. I think that creative people who shut themselves away
for most of their lives might lack the experience of life that feeds into
creative work to give it its life and soul.
It seems that being a solitary person is
considered a bad thing in a broader sense as well. I am sure everyone is aware
of the drive towards team-work everywhere these days. Individuality of any sort
is generally actively discouraged in the work-place, with the
emphasis on everyone working together as a team. Again, I don’t think team-work
is bad, but I object that everyone is expected to accept this as the only way
and best way of functioning. It means that in the workplace, probably only
about 50% of people are functioning at their best, because we’re not all made
to do our best work in teams. What of the quiet achievers whose bursts of
genius come while sitting alone in a private office away from chatter, radios
and phones?
I think that sometimes people are afraid of
being alone. Communication is happening 24/7 with people sometimes never
shutting down their computers - permanently logged into Facebook and Twitter.
Not so long ago we never had telephones in cars and managed well. Now that we
can take them with us, we can’t wait until we get home to return the call - we
have to do it straight away.
I sometimes think too, that people are
afraid of silence. People have headphones on, radios on and televisions on, even
when they’re not listening or watching. How many times do you hear people say
that these things are on for company or just to have a bit of background noise?
Please don’t misunderstand me by thinking that
I am claiming the solitary life as the only right one either. What I’m trying
to say, probably clumsily, is that I think most of us are either one or the
other - a people person or a solitary person - and I think you should happily
live that nature most of the time, because it’s who you are. But I think we can
all benefit by crossing over occasionally into the other realm to enrich our natural predisposition. There is much value in
solitude, and much in being in company with others. It would just be nice if
the world saw the value of both, rather than prizing one and devaluing the
other.
No comments:
Post a Comment